Jerry Wilson Over Coffee Appearing each Wednesday in the Edinburgh Courier, the weekly newspaper in Edinburgh, Indiana and periodically in Indiana's Daily Journal newspaper.

December 12, 1996

The Gift of Giving

As Christmas approaches, a sense of “Good will toward men” takes hold of many of us. But charitable organizations, such as the Salvation Army, report drops in donations in recent years. Some of the decrease may be attributed to economic factors, but that probably plays a smaller role than one might think. What might be more important in a person’s decision to donate to charity is the spirit with which his or her donation is accepted.

Acknowledging that there is a danger of over-generalizing here, it sill can be said that many receivers of charitable donations do not accept those donations with the appropriate amount of humility. That’s not to say that those in need must humble themselves to the rich or well-to-do; not at all. But anyone, regardless of socioeconomic standing must put on the mask of humility when accepting anything from anyone.

Too often those who are on the receiving end of a charitable donation do so with the attitude that they have it coming to them; that they deserve it, or better. If the donation is less than what they believe they deserve, they may even become angry or rude.

An example can be drawn from a high school in Indiana whose Student Council took on an annual project of collecting cans of food to distribute to the underprivileged families in the community during Christmas. The project went on for several years. Sometimes thousands of cans of food and packaged goods were brought in by the students in an inter-classroom competition.

On the last day before Christmas vacation, the student council would separate the food into “food baskets,” each containing similar amounts and varieties of food. The council would also purchase hams or small turkeys to supplement the cans and packaged foods. The baskets would then be distributed by numerous student runners to those families appearing on the free-lunch program, or who had been referred by others.

During a four-year period, the council members heard several complaints from the recipients of these food baskets. Either there was not as much food as last year, or someone had not received a ham this year, or another wanted a ham instead of a turkey. Most of the recipients said nothing at all, which was far better than hurling complaints. But during that same period of time, only one family -- just ONE -- took the time and effort to send a thank-you card to the student council.

The student council had not begun the project to receive praise. The students did not expect to hear “thanks.” But it would have been nice if more of the recipients had offered thanks.

Perhaps there should be voluntary guidelines that all donors and donees should abide by. If you are a charitable donor, try to follow these simple rules:

• Don't wait until Christmas to give. Be generous all year.
• Give cheerfully and non-grudgingly.
• Do not expect to receive any thanks.
• Give anonymously when possible.
• Give useful items that are in good condition, not just the ones you are tired of or have no more use for.
• If giving money, give as much as you feel you can afford.
• Give to those whom you believe need it most, not to those whom you like the best.
• Look on your donation as though it were a universal obligation rather than something coming from your great generosity.

And if you are a receiver of a charitable contribution...

• Accept each donation with humility, even if you know it was given begrudgingly or with arrogance.
• Do not simply refuse a charitable gift if you don’t want it, but rather humbly suggest an alternative recipient.
• Always thank the giver, if you know who it is. A card would be nice.
• Never complain about the gift you have been given, even if it is not what you want or think you deserve.
• No matter how poor you are, try to share part of your gift with someone else who is even poorer than you.

Remember, the purpose of giving is not to make you feel better, but to help others who are less fortunate than yourself.

Copyright © 2001 by Jerry Wilson.